summer.

summer came and went

took our innocence

with the soft breeze

adolescence;

she caught up with us

finally, after all these years

from hiding from her

 

we traded in our dolls

for mixtapes and books

our lightheartedness,

disappeared when we

fell in love someone else

and forgot to love ourselves.

our contented souls now

tossed with restlessness

new ideas, places, people

confused us

 

i see you sometimes

in a hazy dream

your eyes,

lost on some highway road

searching for the exit sign

your hands,

bruised from fighting

tinged with blood

your laugh,

the melancholic chords

echoing throughout the car

 

that’s who we are now…

lost, but still driving

searching, but never finding

and i’m still getting used to it

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

keep the letters.

the letters

handwritten, desperate

pleas i handed you

you didn’t even care

enough to read

 

you kept the letters

those muddled

sleepless nights

drowning in anxiety

words that will condemn me

 

i wish i’d never talked to you

on those school steps

when you softly lied

and i believed you

because i wanted to

 

no one will love you

you don’t have a soul

sold it into slavery for

drugs, rock + roll

and your eyes are blackened

 

keep the letters

they are a past

i’d rather forget

but i hope you never forget

the soul you tried to corrupt

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i stopped.

i stopped finding

soft, meaningful poetry

in your footsteps

and the cracked driveways

 

i stopped looking

for you

in crowded rooms

and my coffee’s reflection

 

i stopped asking my friends

if they were happy

they wear dark circles for makeup

and coffee stained t-shirts

 

i stopped living when i was sixteen

i’m looking for reason

no one can tell me where it is

or if it even exists

 

 

 

 

 

waterlogged.

salt water stains on my shirt
trickling down my cheeks
an angel with blonde hair
and a red dress
calmed me, rinsed
my face with cold water
now no one will know,
she said with a sad smile.

I live in yellow tiled floors
lemon, lavender scented
stalls with a seat for one
girls whisper their secrets here
in my kingdom of stifled sobs
sink water
fake smiles
(I imitate my blonde angel’s)

I watched a little girl cry
gloomily, I rinse her face
now no one will know
I whisper; she goes on
I was her caramel angel
but I wasn’t an angel
my halo was flushed away
my wings are saturated

sometime long ago
a blonde girl was trained
to hide her feelings
and I wonder why she cried
why I cry
why the little girls cries
and why we try to
wash it down the sink.

we weren’t angels,
so fallen, so waterlogged
we couldn’t even reassure
someone they were alright
because we weren’t alright
all along we were demons
who hid on yellow tiles floors
that smelled of bleach
(we should’ve licked it up)