i stopped.

i stopped finding

soft, meaningful poetry

in your footsteps

and the cracked driveways

 

i stopped looking

for you

in crowded rooms

and my coffee’s reflection

 

i stopped asking my friends

if they were happy

they wear dark circles for makeup

and coffee stained t-shirts

 

i stopped living when i was sixteen

i’m looking for reason

no one can tell me where it is

or if it even exists

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Someone XXXVI

Dear Someone,

I want a new main character in young adult fiction.

One who doesn’t fall in love.

One who deals with bullies, and the worst bully is herself.

She tries to be everything everyone wants her to be, and crumbles more and more ever day.

You see it throughout the book. Her thought process.

She starts on top. Yet–page by page, negative connotations and anxiety, take you on the journey of her mind.

And, by the end she’s sitting in the ruins of her life.

She wonders how she got her, and she wants to blame everyone else.

But–you know.

It was her.

Love,

Liv

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i miss you (who you used to be)

i miss you

the girl you used to be

sure, you weren’t a size two

but you didn’t

count calories and frown

at your waistline

 

i miss the girl

who burned brightly

but they let it get

out of control

now you’re a wild-fire

setting everything else ablaze

 

you call yourself a rebel

but darling

it’s been done before

your anarchy is killing you

you’re a wisp of the girl i knew

and it breaks my heart

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

mind lost.

we lost our minds;

derailed and demented.

you’re still looking for yours.

i wish i could tell you where it was.

they’ve drugged mine.

to relieve the pain.

 

the peanut gallery is getting bold

whispering louder than ever

doesn’t it make you feel insane?

they’ve lost their hearts

ripped them out and filled the void

with gold and pleasure

 

don’t smash the mirror

because they criticize you

you at least have a heart

understand human emotions

sure, you lost your mind

but you can find it again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

no one cared then, & everyone cares now.

i told people. i told a lot of people.

and, they told me that this would pass.

that i was complaining.

so,

i shut up.

i hid it in journals.

i became reclusive.

you never say anything anymore.

tell me what’s going on…

no.

because, all i got was,

dramatic. you’re just trying to weird. that’s just you being shy.

and,

now it’s too late, isn’t it?

you should’ve all listened.

i was struggling. i was hurting. i was confused.

no one cared then.

i don’t need your sympathy now.