i love you (not right)

they bought you flowers, chocolates, and gave                               
the normal simplistic love you wanted                              
and they say, i love you                                        
but darling, they never loved you right                              
and never gave you the love you needed.



tragic, isn’t it?
boy you’re on the other side
and this river is too wide

since the current came and took you
nothing has been right
my days never turn into night soon enough

can you even hear me?
i need you to be here; i’m lost
i need you hear; i’m in too deep

this is what drowning feels like


all i am is a fragmented sentence

half-drunk cups of coffee strewn over the countertops

half-finished storylines where characters stopped speaking mid-sentence

half-hearted apologies because i meant what i said

half-this, half-that and never quite enough

i might never call again, because i’m ashamed to call myself your friend

i might never finish that song, because every time it plays i think of you

i might never love after you, because i will never be over it

i am half the woman i could be. i am half the writer i could be. i am half of the daughter i could be. i am half of the friend i could be. i half of the lover i could be.

all because of my inability to just fini–


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watching through windows.

there is a girl who lives fifteen minutes from me

she vacations on the jersey shore

she had long hair; now it’s short

she had me; now it’s no longer us

i watch her through windows 

and, i let her live because i think she’s better off without me 


when this song plays

and I’m watching a romantic comedy with herbal tea

I swear you’re next to me 

let me tell you I’m agitated today

let me tell you I looked at five jobs today, so I could get to you

I write you love sonnets in my head; never for your ears to hear

my insides are torn and washing in a continuous rinse cycle

the definition of agony is distance between you and me





it’s hard not to drown in the bittersweet chocolate and you’re mine sentiments

 she reminds me that this day is more than for men

with a care package, and I wish she was here

so we could spend it together

we could make tea and watch classic noir films

so I nibble at my chocolate and look at my polaroid of heart hands

and smile softly, because we’re galentines after all.

happy valentine’s day.