life lessons.

the most important lessons i’ve learned so far in my eighteen years:

  • you are your own person. things like boundaries are boring.
  • life is too short to not pick wildflowers.
  • or to smile at strangers in cars.
  • if someone says you can’t; you might as well do it.
  • love who you love, even if it ends badly…
  • fight for what you love. but, also know when to peaceably protest for what you love.
  • never tell people how to live their lives; only supply guidance. they’ll listen to you more.
  • break the rules. don’t capitalize letters. don’t do things because it’s orthodox.
  • maybe the things you want don’t want you back. that hurts like hell.
  • rejection is unavoidable.
  • if someone leaves; no one made them,
  • and you are not responsible for that.
  • friends are soul-mates. platonic love will you make you feel alive.
  • cry tears of joy/pain, but always drive somewhere with music loud after you’re done.
  • suicide is never the answer and should never be an option.
  • get help. talk about mental illness. open up. open up. it will save you.
  • and once you think you are done with the person you are; look in the mirror once more
  • because who you are is beautiful
  • you are changeable, melding, and you are always seeing the world in a hue of color someone doesn’t know about.
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rearview mirror.

i’m tired of looking

at myself in the rearview mirror of the car

wondering

waiting

watching

for a sign i did something right

and if nothing else, i just want to prove to myself there is something i am good for

besides breaking

crashing

wrecking

the lives around me.

 

summer.

summer came and went

took our innocence

with the soft breeze

adolescence;

she caught up with us

finally, after all these years

from hiding from her

 

we traded in our dolls

for mixtapes and books

our lightheartedness,

disappeared when we

fell in love someone else

and forgot to love ourselves.

our contented souls now

tossed with restlessness

new ideas, places, people

confused us

 

i see you sometimes

in a hazy dream

your eyes,

lost on some highway road

searching for the exit sign

your hands,

bruised from fighting

tinged with blood

your laugh,

the melancholic chords

echoing throughout the car

 

that’s who we are now…

lost, but still driving

searching, but never finding

and i’m still getting used to it

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Retracing Our Steps.

Have you ever looked at your life a year later, and wondered…what happened?

Was it you who changed, or the people around you?

It feels as if nothing has changed, but everything has.

The guy you liked a year ago, is the back of your mind, and only comes up on occasions. No one’s taken his place yet, and you’re in no hurry.

Some friends have left, or unfortunately you’re realizing you’ve left some people behind. There’s new friends who add depth and color to your life, in shades you never knew existed. You try to retrace your steps to remember how you lost and gained them.

Your sister is a woman. Your brother is almost as tall you. Your sister is a business woman. Your littlest brother tells you stories and is getting too heavy to hold.

Even you couldn’t escape changing. Your hair is longer and you’re taller. You wear different clothes and you like your hair down instead of half up-half down. You’ve learned how to talk. You’ve learned how to conquer some of your anxiety that ate you alive last year. You go to events and people know your name, and by Jove…you can carry a conversation.

It makes you wonder…what will change by next year? Nothing really. You like to reassure yourself, but you know that’s a complete lie.