i love you (not right)

they bought you flowers, chocolates, and gave                               
the normal simplistic love you wanted                              
and they say, i love you                                        
but darling, they never loved you right                              
and never gave you the love you needed.



tragic, isn’t it?
boy you’re on the other side
and this river is too wide

since the current came and took you
nothing has been right
my days never turn into night soon enough

can you even hear me?
i need you to be here; i’m lost
i need you hear; i’m in too deep

this is what drowning feels like


when this song plays

and I’m watching a romantic comedy with herbal tea

I swear you’re next to me 

let me tell you I’m agitated today

let me tell you I looked at five jobs today, so I could get to you

I write you love sonnets in my head; never for your ears to hear

my insides are torn and washing in a continuous rinse cycle

the definition of agony is distance between you and me





I’m waiting–I’m still here–counting days, weeks, months.

They tell you to move, please don’t. I know I have no control, but you said yourself we’re not a hit and run.

I keep talking to my dark room at midnight. I tell you about my friends and how hard the last few months have been.

I’m trying to remember what you smell like. I think it was a salt-water and a laundry detergent. I loved it though.

I love everything about you. People told me I would be over by now, but I’m far from that. I think I love you more.

I would give anything to hear your voice say, it’s okay. 

We were are in love.

We are going to make it; no matter how hard they try to break us apart.

Happy Valentine’s Day. 

picket-fence girl.

Picket fence girl.

Board straight, with your heart in a tangle,

your boy is saying he loves you, and you’re happy aren’t you?

you’re high school sweet hearts, stuck in a rut,

thinking this is as good as it gets, optimistically.


You’re marking the days off your calendar,

waiting for date in particular, but knowing someday you’ll get away.

You were grown here, a white picket fenced house,

and you always wanted more than this.


Discouraged, aren’t you picket fence girl?

That boy says he loves you, but doesn’t ask you how you are,

and your high school love that was so sweet, tastes sour now.

You look at the road, and say the city seems awfully far…


That boy is on one knee, a frown set in his face,

asking you to settle down in your own picket fence yard.

It’s like he never listened to your dreams, to your wide-eyes fascination,

and you look in his dead eyes, that you must’ve loved at one point,

and you just nod, yes because this must be as good as it gets.


You stop marking days off the calendar,

and that boy doesn’t even tell you he loves you anymore,

and you’re sitting on your picket fence,

board straight and heart in a twist, wondering

how far the city is again, and there must be something better than this.




you, me, and the beach.

I look over at him, his kakis rolled up, his hair messy and his eyes awash with sleepiness.

He is knee-deep in his socks, wading in the ocean. I’m sitting in the sand, watching the horizon and him acting like a fool.

The beach is lonely without us; no one comes to visit her here in the midnight. The tide is low, and I draw our names in the sand,

you, me, and the beach,

he’s laughing like a child, as he runs in the sand,

I’m playing with the ring on my finger, sliding it off and on,

off and on,

I like it better when it’s on, like a security blanket, like a promise.

Promises. He’s promising me he’s not leaving, and we’re young again.

And, he’s far, far,

far away,

drifting in and out with the tide.

I caught glimpses at times, and I kept up faith. I watched the horizon for him,

waiting, waiting,

for him to show.

He came, and it was like we planned.

It was him, and I, and the beach.


…a short story…











emotional wreck.

“I am an emotional wreck,”

I said when my life felt it was falling into pieces.

Nothing seemed right.

My emotions were rampant, and I didn’t know

if I was feeling one without feeling another.

My emotional wreck.” He responded.

I knew he didn’t know the half it;

that he didn’t understand the fractures and

how I reset my emotions and they still came out of place sometimes.

I knew he didn’t understand the wreck, the past,

and why I couldn’t snap out of it at times.

That was the beauty of it, I was his emotional wreck,

and he didn’t care if I was wreck,

because I was his.





in & out

on key singing;

your voice ringing in my head all week.

car window searching;

it’s your face I look for every time.


my favorite songs tells a story;

that I never heard until you came.

everyone tells me the rumors,

that I never heard from you.


the city lights shine,

like fallen stars.

I wonder where you are,

in the vast sky.


in and out of love;

we got lost before we found each other.

I’m tired of searching for you,

and you’re not even trying.