keep the letters.

the letters

handwritten, desperate

pleas i handed you

you didn’t even care

enough to read

 

you kept the letters

those muddled

sleepless nights

drowning in anxiety

words that will condemn me

 

i wish i’d never talked to you

on those school steps

when you softly lied

and i believed you

because i wanted to

 

no one will love you

you don’t have a soul

sold it into slavery for

drugs, rock + roll

and your eyes are blackened

 

keep the letters

they are a past

i’d rather forget

but i hope you never forget

the soul you tried to corrupt

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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blame.

 

he touches my back

whispers in my ear

touches my thigh,

says since we’re family,

he can do whatever he wants

when I asked him to stop

 

told I wasn’t skinny enough,

told I was psycho,

told I was a mute,

catcalled and made fun of

never was the pretty girl

never was the untouchable girl

 

shunned

the clique doesn’t accept

a new presence,

even if it’s been there for ages

they told me to go away,

laughed in my face.

 

afraid to leave the house;

afraid to be alone

he’s everywhere, he’s watching

he knows everything

he could ruin me in a moment

I close the blinds tighter

 

and, everyone asks me

why I don’t like to be touched

why I hate superficial girls and guys

and I just shrug

they tell me to not be so guarded;

and I just nod, not really listening

 

 

so, I hold a razor in the shower

and I think of about dying

I think of him, him, and him;

of her, her, and her

and I could blame all of them

but, I’m to blame, aren’t I?