My therapist is making me write down all my negative thoughts, and then turning them to rational thoughts.
And, even though it sounds easy, my chest hurt and I couldn’t even breathe.
When you build up layers of walls, it’s hard to knock them down.
Five pages so far. I had to stop, so there’s more.
The hardest one to write down was, I hate myself and everything that has happened to me is my fault. I deserve death and everything that has happened that to me.
I looked at what my hands had written, and I started to cry.
Because, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t come up with a rational thought for it.
I believe it.
Isn’t that screwed up…