I think I’m getting better without him, grasping the sensation of not talking to him.
Then, something happens, someone happens, and I just–lose it.
I restart every day it seems. I build up so much resistance, and then by the time I fall asleep he’s still there in the back of my mind.
I want to be ok with it. Yet, I want him to be here. I want to talk to him like we used to.
It’s not love. I just want him to be my friend. That hurts me the most…that he doesn’t even want to be that anymore.