terrible past.

I saw you
with your crimped hair
and jean shorts
with a flannel

I almost cried right there
as if you still held a knife
and stabbed me in the chest
bloodied white shirt
stained with hurt

maybe that’s why
I wear black more now
it doesn’t stain as easily

you knew
you looked right into
my eyes and dared me to speak
you knew I couldn’t
smelling my fear

how long was it?
two? four? minutes
it felt as if I was transported
to that terrible past
where we saw each other
weekly
where you laughed with your clique
and I sat wishing you’d accept me

you’re still prettier than me
was my first thought
no, not that abyss
where I compare
and you kill my soul
in the process

so I walked away
I need to bury the past
and you’re still a shovelful
I don’t have the strength
to throw in

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10 thoughts on “terrible past.

  1. Dear Liv,
    This is so sad and beautiful at the same time as all your poems. And believe me, everyday you make me smile with your poems because they are so truthful and so beautiful. They always make me hopeful and sad at the same time. Thank you so much for this. You really are gifted with writing. I’d never be as good. But I won’t compare myself to you as you said. But here it’s in a good way. See. I hope you’re good. Bye

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh, really? Thank you. But you’re awesome. Just that you know. And I thought that you wrote what you’ve somehow experienced. I can in one way relate to it. Because I’ve experienced it too. These people not liking you because you are ‘different’ and not one should experience it. Not one. I think that kids can be the most cruel people. I mean yeah killing is the worst. But these things. These words. It’s just not fair. For no one. But past is past. I don’t even know why I told you. But I did. And anyways. Bye.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh yeah, I completely agree. words messed with my head so badly, from kids. They told me lies and fell for them hook, line, and sinker. Thanks for sharing, I mean…I’m glad someone else understands.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I do understand more than you may think I do. Thank you for getting it. Life can be cruel. Especially kids. I’m sorry that you had to experience it. It’s not fair. I mean you didn’t deserve this. Nobody does. I hope you’re alright. Bye

        Liked by 1 person

      4. exactly, no one deserves it and that’s what I’m trying to teach others. and thanks you for asking, I’m making it. πŸ™‚ You are the sweetest! ❀

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Hey Liv,
        You are sweet. And you really are a great person. I mean you’re awesome. And never let anyone say something else. Because they are not good in their hearts. Yeah they may have their good sides too but some things can’t be forgiven. You are such a good person.

        Liked by 1 person

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