shhh, she says

shhhh

quiet is when my mind attacks
close my eyes
my thoughts snicker
setting me on fire
the heat makes me lift my eyelids
I don’t which is scarier

what lies in my head
or
what lies in this room.

my shadow sits on the foot of my bed
she mocks me
she watches me drown
in the white sheets
but I emerge to find

the piper playing his flute
in an eerie tune
he says follow me
eternal youth, no more death
he dances on my walls

yet.
yet the worse is yet to come

she comes out at the darkest hour
she knows
she says everyone knows
crescent moon smile
a minotaur
keeping my labyrinth
under lock and key
she is fear
she says I am a nothing
she says people hate me
she says work harder for perfection
her lies
seep into my brain
kerosene on a fire

red, black, white,
it’s all I feel
all I see anymore

she wants me to cry
it is her water
she wants me to push people away
it is her nourishment
leaving only her
to feed on my mind

shhh

she says as comfort
this quiet is killing me
from the inside out

shhh

I hate it
wake up
I scream mentally
open my eyes
to see green walls
and a white ceiling
a new day
though
also a new night

I need to find
a way
to defeat this
I keep losing my way
give me a golden ball of yarn
and I will cut off her head

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