I’m Changing…Again


What is it with me and summer? I always seem to come out of them now with a different outlook on life.

I’m starting to apply for scholarships. And…I’m thinking about submitting my writing for publishing.

I haven’t told anyone this…but I’m thinking about starting a worship band. I haven’t really figured out the logistics or anything, but I need people and everyone I seemingly know hates singing in front of people. I just feel like I should be using my gifts to further Christ’s kingdom. And I love worshipping, when the words of the song hit me, and the music is flooding my system, I feel so close to Him.

I’ve been praying about taking this mission trip after I graduate called the World Race. They travel for 11 months to 11 countries doing whatever they are needed for, just spreading Christ’s love to everyone. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I don’t know…ever since I learned about it last year, I haven’t been able to put it down. Especially now that my grandpa had passed away, I don’t want anyone else to feel like I did.

School’s starting (YAY!) Don’t think I’m weird, but I love school (except math, which is actually getting better…it’s not as bad as I thought). It adds needed structure to my life, and I see my friends more often. Plus, I’m homeschooled so I’m pretty much my own teacher, and I get to choose the reading lists!!! (Though, I chose to do a lit class this year, and I’ve read everything we’re reading, plus wrote papers on my thoughts…so I’m pretty much doing it get another credit.) The only sad thing is most of my friends (except for Caroli, Em, and Ginger) will be leaving me this year. *tear, tear, sniff, sniff.*

In the past couple months, I’ve decided to stop trying to get the popular girls attention in my life. Instead, I’m trying to pour into the middle school/9th grade girls, because I know it’s a hard transition. In fact, my little sister Jules sat next to me yesterday, and  I told her to get up. She’s just joined 6th grade (surreal moment guys…) and this is her first week. She asked me why, and I told her that once she sits down alone, it’s hard to get back up with friends. That was enough, she got up immediately. I want her to enjoy these first years, because I really didn’t.

I’m starting to realize how much I depended on worldly things. My grandpa’s death has really pushed me closer God again. I remember thinking of the words of Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 when I heard, and I’ve put them up on my wall to remind myself of them. They are, “There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven–A  time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance. A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;  A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing. A time to search and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear apart and a time to sew together; A time to be silent and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate; A time for war and a time for peace.” It just reminds me that there is a plan…even if I don’t know it. That God will use me in His own time, and through everything that happens to me, He is in control.









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