Broke, Tired, & Just Life…

Disclaimer: I just realized that I typed up at storm and that this post is super long, so prepare yourself.

I cannot go on like this guys…I spend my money too quickly on food (which is necessary for human life but should I starve myself so I can at least have some pocket cash?) I don’t have a constant job, so I make my money by baby sitting, cat-sitting, and odds and ends jobs around my house.

It seems as soon as I get money, it’s gone. I think there’s a hole or something in my wallet.  Maybe I’m being robbed. *Looks suspiciously at the 5 year old brother who’s playing trains.*

Guys, I’m really tired. All the good shows come on after 9 so I stay up till 12 or later watching them. And then last night I couldn’t sleep at all–I was a bundle of nerves. (Kind of like Christmas Eve from when I was 5-11.) Then I wake up at some ungodly hour to do school until I feel as if my brain has oozed out of my head somehow.

Math gets worse guys. For some odd reason I thought that after middle school it would get better, but it has gotten worse. I have to make myself do math, my heart says no, my mind says no, I think the only reason I do it is because to graduate I need to do it. My perfectly logical argument has been since 3rd grade, Mom, I’m never going to use math, why do I have to do it? The numbers jumble on the page and then they added letters, which should ONLY belong in books.

Biology is horrible. I hate dead things and cutting into organisms. Caroli puts them in my face, giving them accents. I almost threw up, and every one laughed. It wouldn’t be very funny if I threw up on your shirt would it?

Guys, I’m really bad at the whole ‘circle time’ concept. Like when people want to talk about their feelings, that’s great. I love listening and giving good advice, slipping in an analogy or two. But when people want me to talk about my problems…I kind of flip. I say the obvious ‘I’m worried about grades’ and then tell the person next to me to talk. I don’t know, maybe I have trust issues. Or maybe I just don’t want people I don’t really know, having the spiel.

I’m planning my sweet sixteen (more like bittersweet.) I’ve had a lot of ideas, but I want to please everyone, because I’m stupid like that. Ideas so far: Downton Abbey, Audrey Hepburn, pineapple/tropical, Sound of Music (have a theatric number with some guy where I sing sixteen going on seventeen,) coffee, 50’s swing, childhood memories, Grease, and roarin’20’s. All great, but I keep thinking of people I would invite and how they might not like it, so I cross it out.

My favorite season has finally arrived and will probably be gone in a couple weeks. Springs are so short in FL, it makes me mad. But I’m taking advantage of it, I spend time swinging and writing and twirling or just lying in the grass. My neighbors think I’m some mad lady. Speaking of neighbors, I saw one the other day (I avoid her by running and hiding because always wants to talk for so long and I run out of things to say quickly.) Well, she caught me as I was lying in my yard looking at the clouds and she says, ‘I never see outside anymore, I guess that’s how you got so pale.’ Gee…thanks I guess…like how do you respond to that?

Ok, I’m done. I just had to get that out. And update y’all, because I think y’all care.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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11 thoughts on “Broke, Tired, & Just Life…

  1. hey when someone comments like that just say “nah…” like how can someone respond to that seriously like its impossible. one time someone said i was fat and ugly and I just said “nah…” and they just looked confused for awhile and eventually just walked away meanwhile I was laughing my butt off!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey, stalking my best friends sisters blog and on the topic of Biology, consider it a blessing, just wait for Anatomy. And for Sweet 16s. Do what you want, that’s what i’m doing. I’m definitely worried about what people are going to think, but honestly, who cares. It’s about you and if you love it, do it.

    Like

  3. Damn that is quite a burden you have unloaded! I can relate to you so much. I felt the exact same in school and college and struggled with the same issues. I can offer some solutions I found. I started watching TVS shows on my smartphone on the go because even I couldn’t handle TV schedules anymore. So during my commute or while my friends shopped, I watched my shows. Many TV networks offer app players now. With the money thing, try not carrying all your cash with you when you leave the house. Leave at least 20-30% of it at home. Less money in your wallet means you’ll cut down on unnecessary spending. You kind of trick yourself into thinking you’re more broke than you actually are 😀 Maths, Biology and circle time are just things you have to go through, kind of like household chores. But just remember your distress is temporary and will pass. You’ll be fine at the end of the day 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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