Disclaimer: I just realized that I typed up at storm and that this post is super long, so prepare yourself.
I cannot go on like this guys…I spend my money too quickly on food (which is necessary for human life but should I starve myself so I can at least have some pocket cash?) I don’t have a constant job, so I make my money by baby sitting, cat-sitting, and odds and ends jobs around my house.
It seems as soon as I get money, it’s gone. I think there’s a hole or something in my wallet. Maybe I’m being robbed. *Looks suspiciously at the 5 year old brother who’s playing trains.*
Guys, I’m really tired. All the good shows come on after 9 so I stay up till 12 or later watching them. And then last night I couldn’t sleep at all–I was a bundle of nerves. (Kind of like Christmas Eve from when I was 5-11.) Then I wake up at some ungodly hour to do school until I feel as if my brain has oozed out of my head somehow.
Math gets worse guys. For some odd reason I thought that after middle school it would get better, but it has gotten worse. I have to make myself do math, my heart says no, my mind says no, I think the only reason I do it is because to graduate I need to do it. My perfectly logical argument has been since 3rd grade, Mom, I’m never going to use math, why do I have to do it? The numbers jumble on the page and then they added letters, which should ONLY belong in books.
Biology is horrible. I hate dead things and cutting into organisms. Caroli puts them in my face, giving them accents. I almost threw up, and every one laughed. It wouldn’t be very funny if I threw up on your shirt would it?
Guys, I’m really bad at the whole ‘circle time’ concept. Like when people want to talk about their feelings, that’s great. I love listening and giving good advice, slipping in an analogy or two. But when people want me to talk about my problems…I kind of flip. I say the obvious ‘I’m worried about grades’ and then tell the person next to me to talk. I don’t know, maybe I have trust issues. Or maybe I just don’t want people I don’t really know, having the spiel.
I’m planning my sweet sixteen (more like bittersweet.) I’ve had a lot of ideas, but I want to please everyone, because I’m stupid like that. Ideas so far: Downton Abbey, Audrey Hepburn, pineapple/tropical, Sound of Music (have a theatric number with some guy where I sing sixteen going on seventeen,) coffee, 50’s swing, childhood memories, Grease, and roarin’20’s. All great, but I keep thinking of people I would invite and how they might not like it, so I cross it out.
My favorite season has finally arrived and will probably be gone in a couple weeks. Springs are so short in FL, it makes me mad. But I’m taking advantage of it, I spend time swinging and writing and twirling or just lying in the grass. My neighbors think I’m some mad lady. Speaking of neighbors, I saw one the other day (I avoid her by running and hiding because always wants to talk for so long and I run out of things to say quickly.) Well, she caught me as I was lying in my yard looking at the clouds and she says, ‘I never see outside anymore, I guess that’s how you got so pale.’ Gee…thanks I guess…like how do you respond to that?
Ok, I’m done. I just had to get that out. And update y’all, because I think y’all care.