There a couple of ball-gowns in my room. They hang in the back of my closet behind fashionable skirts and sweaters.
There is the evergreen one. I wore that to trip in front of my crush in back in 7th grade. But I got up and smiled at him, I was over him that night, because when he laughed at me, I knew he had no heart.
There is the scarlet one. The one I rejected in. I remember sitting on the back wall, waiting for Prince Charming to come sweep me away. I cried that night.
There is the black one. The one that milkshake spilled on it and I learned that being single isn’t that bad. In fact, can be quite fun.
There is the pink one. The one where I was silly princess who held bologna for her ‘prince.’ But he wasn’t mine, he was someone else’s. He was annoying anyway, I never liked him.
When I put on those dresses, I’m taken back to the days where dress up was apart of my daily routine. When I would take out the dresses at my grandma’s out and put them on. They were too big so we stumble out and everyone would laugh.
Then I was offended. I wanted them to bow in my presence and present me with gifts for being SO beautiful. (I was weird like that.)
Sometimes, when I put those dresses on and go to those dances. I expect to be adored and showered with compliments. It never happens that way and I go home embarrassed and a bit angry.
I shouldn’t be. I’m not their Queen. I’m not their girl. I am just a simpleton in a dress that doesn’t fit me right, hair frizzy, eyes red, and sweaty from all that dancing.
But who cares…because when I don’t care about the amount of guys who say ‘hello’ and glance my way or ask for a dance, I find I’m laughing and having fun with friends.
That is what matters the most. Because one day, I’ll find someone who will never leave me side and never want to dance with anyone else. Someone who will complement me and think I am amazing, though I am so far from that.
The key is having fun during the wait. Who needs a man to dance? To compliment me? To laugh with me? Not me. I shall have fun with my handful of friends. I shall be carefree.