Emotion

I feel emotion whether I want to or not.

I feel nervous and altogether in pieces when I’m with someone I might love.

I feel longing when I read a book, swinging on the porch, a slight breeze blowing, and Sadie pining for my hand to stroke her black fur.

I feel hyper and joyful in small parties full of loved ones.

I feel scared and unwanted in large parties full of too many odd people.

I feel on top of the world when I am exploring and climb mountains. When I reach my hands out or dangle my legs over the side.

I feel numb when I lose someone near and dear–and there is nothing I can do to fix it.

I feel dreamy when I sit under the stars and count my blessings.

I feel lost when I sit in my room, paper blown everywhere and the Alternative music on low.

I feel complete when I get a hug from someone I love dearly, when they hold me tight when I feel the world is falling apart.

I feel happiness when I dance with my little brother in the kitchen, when we fall down laughing.

I feel a deep regret when I part too soon with someone I care about.

I feel thoughtful when Adele plays and my writing is a deep and sad ending.

I feel everything differently. I love everything differently.

I wish I could control my emotions sometimes, but they always seem to get the best of me. They choke me and they twist me. They drown me, only to let me rise the surface for one moment.

Every emotion is a different color, a different hue that when all mixed together, they make a person who they are, how they feel, how they react.

I feel emotion whether I want to or not.

But I want to, I so want to, because I am a living and breathing and feeling human.

And I love it.

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