I Feel Old

I feel old. There’s no other way to put it. And to all the people who know my real age (fifteen) you’re probably banging your heads against walls, and saying things like:

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But really. My friend and I were looking at yearbooks and I realized how much we had changed drastically. Really. In sixth grade, for class photos, everyone was wearing t-shirts and toothy smiles…me I was in a black turtle neck, short bob, little sassy smile. I didn’t even know Audrey Hepburn existed but heck, I sure did know fashion. Anyways, when I saw that picture, at first I was like:

fantastic
I’M FABULOUS!!!

But then it sunk in and I looked down and what was I wearing. A t-shirt, gym shorts, a greasy messy bun, no make-up, and dang. That was a change. I don’t even own turtle-necks anymore, and that bob has been replaced. I had changed.

I also realized that back then, I had been a fashion queen, bookish but still sporty, tiny, did I mention adorable? And now, I’m a writing, geeky, bookish, sort of into fashion, not so tiny, girl.

Then I looked a seventh grade and eighth grade I realized that puberty had found me and the awkward stage had found me. My faces and what I was thinking as I went from one picture to the next…

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Class Photo
ew
Friend Photo
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School Photo and…denial

I don’t exactly what happened. But now I’m a freshman going on sophomore. (Sounds familiar…like sixteen going on seventeen maybe?) I was rocking my baby brother now four and it took me back to when I used to do it everyday for about an hour, classical music in the background. I almost cried. Classical music does that to me.

And then I realized, that all my old friends are pretty much memories. I’m actually going to see one tomorrow and spend a week with her. And I saw another at the springs the other day, and it was weird, because he had grown up and I had grown up. We stood there for a long time just staring at each other wondering what to do. We finally had a good time.

I’ve changed, the world’s changed, and you just don’t really realize it until you look at yearbooks, old friends appear and you see how old they look and then you look in a mirror and oh my gosh you have to! And as you watch siblings grow up.

But guess feelings old doesn’t mean I’m actually ‘old.’ I’m thankful for everything that’s happened because I know some of my greatest memories are still to come.

And just so you know I am now:

beauty-and-the-beast-gaston-fabulous-funny-lol-disney

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Just kidding.

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