Did I Really Enjoy This School-Year?

I can’t even begin to describe this school-year…and trying to decipher it might be a larger challenge. I entered the year a freshman confused and I’m leaving as a sophomore even more confused. I began this school-year with a crush and I’m leaving with a larger one–to the point of love.

My British Literature teacher asked us to write a paper on how we changed this school-year, and I was blank. I had no clue. As I pondered and pondered about it I realized that I had changed, just in small little subtle ways. But I also have not changed. All these large questions finally led to:

Did I really enjoy my freshman year?

I started the year on wings. Parties, singing, good grades, campaigning, friends, words, new books, laughter, and so much more. (Not to mention a really cute guy who I vaguely talk about on my blog.) But just like every good thing, it has to stop eventually. Soon my year was scattered brained and I’m ending it with: one-sided love, crying, confusion, friends (friends are always good,) lots of T.V and Gilmore Girls references, being a Princess, coffee and chocolate to keep my mind off the important things, a blog, and feeling a sense of awkwardness as usual.

I feel like I did enjoy this year, but like other times I wish I could grow up quickly and get my dream home in Scotland and become a famous writer (with a skilled editor) traveling the world a pen in her hand. And then all the memories of me cracking up with best friend, acting, smiles, writing a good sentence or two on a piece of paper and loving it too much, quotes everywhere, and they drown out the memories that haunt me.

I think to answer the question, I’ve loved my first year of high school because it’s changed me in subtle ways, I’ve grown up more than ever, I’ve finally learned to use the words I hold in my hands, and I’ve made beautiful memories with my best friends.

So as I enter my sophomore year, I have absolutely no clue what is going to happen, but I think I’m ready. I’m ready to face it.

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