I’ve been hitting myself on the head for five years. I’ve been trying to put myself into the little categories that all girls put themselves into. Categories are really the most degrading thing. If I was to fit myself into categories, this would be how it would look:
Boyfriend Status: None, still single.
Body Type: Pear shaped, big hips, tiny shoulders, no butt.
Hobbies: Reading, writing, no sports.
Extrovert or Introvert: Introvert.
I look at that and I think, “who is she?” Those categories tell you the outside of me. What you don’t know is the real me, the one that really matters.
As my best friend wrote:
“Remember the time in 7th grade when I was over at your house—I think it was your sister’s pizza party—when we were pushing and twirling each other around on the swing in your backyard? I have a specific memory of you grabbing my leg to spin me around, your head tilted back, your hair flying out of its headband, laughing harder than I was. We were young and having fun, never dreaming of what was ahead.
Remember the time we were at the mall with the gang and we decided to go to Hollister? As soon as we walked in, you screamed because you didn’t like the Justin Timberlake song that was playing, and your sister got mad because you were embarrassing her, and the teenage girl who was working there gave us a strange look. We walked out laughing, never dreaming of what was ahead.
Remember the time you first pointed out your crush to me at the dance? I assured you that he was cute, and we hoped so hard that he would ask you for a dance—and when he didn’t, you stole away to the bathroom. We sat together in silence, tears streaming down your face, never dreaming of what was ahead.
Remember the time we had an impromptu sleepover at your house and watched that creepy Birdy music video? We crept out to the camper together in the dark, but it wasn’t as scary as I thought it’d be, cause I had you with me. We stayed up until we couldn’t anymore, never dreaming of what was to come.
Remember the time we got into a fight and cried on the phone together? We both felt terrible and apologized. We couldn’t even stay mad at each other for more than an hour. We stayed friends, never dreaming of what was ahead.
Remember the time we were talking about going to the Chick-fil-a in Mount Dora so we could stalk your crush? We were joking about insisting to our parents that we had to go to that particular Chick-fil-a cause it was that much better, never dreaming of what was to come.”
That is the real me. The one that people who don’t talk to me never see. One of my other best friends before she met me, thought I was weird, quiet, and altogether thought she would never be my friend. Well, um…she is now. 😉 Because she looked past the categories and found the truly beautiful person underneath.
But another point is that girls/boys push themselves into categories, because categories are what get you picked. Society pushes them to become something that they are not, because we want to feel like we belong, but not everyone can fit the mold, can they?
Why can’t we all be who God intended us to be without wanting change who we are? Because we can’t accept the fact that we are beautiful, that special is o.k. because we listen to society telling us beauty looks like this, special is the new ‘ugh, no one will ever love when you’re like that.’
You need to be fit, you need to lose some pounds, you need to stop reading so much, you need to conform your beliefs. “NO, NO, NO!” Is all I want to shout at the world. “They don’t need to do anything like that!”
Marilyn Monroe, one of my favorite actresses, put something quite perfectly.
“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as *heck don’t deserve me at my best.”
So next time, you’re looking at someone, think to yourself, am I putting them in a category? You’ll find that most of the time you are…I find myself doing it, let me be totally honest, all the time.
I’ve found that they’re description sounds much more appealing, after you get to know them better.
*This word has been changed to ‘heck’ because of the language and I want my blog to be language free.